Wednesday, February 27, 2008

ADIOS, crackies!!!!!!!

here at crack rules, inc., there has been a change. we regret to inform you that THE Addict has entered rehab and this blog will become a mere crack-induced hallucination. and now a word from our precious Addict:

I THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING ME THROUGHOUT MY DAYS HERE ON THE BLOGOSPHERE. I LOVE YOU GUYS AND YOU LOVED ME BACK. PIPES UP! SO I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU VENTURE ONTO MY SUBSTANCE ABUSE COUNSELOR'S PAGE.....THE PRETTY CIRCLE. ROCK ON!

it's been fun!

sincerely,
management

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Making the Band 4: Return of the Goony-Goo-Goo's






hey peoples! crack isn't wack! and yes, it's back! so let's just jump right into diddy madness. i must admit that the actual first ep was such a snoozer that it didn't deserve it's own post. but in the event that you don't know what's up...the boy group (who i named the goony goo-goo's), along with wackity kane and donnie the solo star are all back and have to record their albums at the same time in 5 weeks time.

ok, fast forward to the 2nd ep, the recording begins and robert a.k.a. "s-curl" is whining like keith sweat because he feels like his voice isn't shining like he wants it to......meaning, he wants to be the lead singer on ALL of the songs. um, there are 5, count 'em, 1...2...3...4...5 dudes up in this group, so NOTE TO ROBERT: you are not donnie the solo star, therefore you have to share your viddles with the other pups, simmer down!

sidebar:::WHO in the tarnation picked out the dead possum that lays on d. woods head calling itself a wig?
the extreme short side mixed with the extreme long side renders itself quite odd. maybe she should try a wet raccoon or a shaved muskrat...but the possum must GOOOOO!!!

sidebar:::where DA HECK is willie from? i had no idea his accent was so friggin country...and i mean CUNTRY!! that, and the receding hairline is really taking away from his sexy. note to willie, keep your hat perched on the front of your forehead and speak in russian or japanese...your hotness will thrive in bunches, i promise!

also, when is brian gonna get those micro mini ashy braids cut? i am still in shock that robert had to cut his and get the s-curl, yet brian still has those tired braids...with the nerve to have beads hanging from them, just chillin! not cute boo, neither are the 5 cuts in the eyebrows....sooooooooooo 1991! bleh!

wakity kane wasn't talking about much except for the fact that dawn is liking her some qwanell.

qwanell

qwanell

i'm sorry, that name puts me in a stupor. can SOMEONE on this green earth explain the science behind the word qwanell. how you have a "q" without the "u" right behind it? why have the "w" without a "c" or "k" in front? it would be just as weird looking. cwanell. kwanell. actually, i like kwanell. ok, enough about that....onto the funny ish that is d. woods and robert.

see, what had happened was, robert likeded d. woods and wanted to take her to dinner but the girls decided to look up robert's myspace page to see if they could get some dirt on him. lo and behold, there are pics of him and some chick named june, a.k.a. junebug all hugged up. so when s-curl arrives to get d. woods (who by the way was straight chilling in her wig scarf and sweats not trying to go anywhere) he thought the girls were trying to insinuate something sooooooooo, he got a little hot around the s-curl. ensue fight number 1:

s-curl: aw, ya'll funny. i don't even control my myspace page
d. woods: oh ok, whatevs
s: no for real! ya gotta believe me!
d: um, ok dude, whatevs
s: no like for real, you're hot, sexy, fly, i like your style, your swagger and i wouldn't try and play you like that! i love your wig! BELIEEEEEEEEEEEVE ME!!
d: um, calm down dude, like for real, not that big a'deal
s: ahhhhhhhhhhhh! i hate my haircut....i really want my braids back! wait, wrong topic
d: you're so wackity!

i kinda feel bad for s-curl, because diddy tore into that *ss too! the other 4 pups called robert out about the whining cuz he isn't the lead singer. what was so sad about it was how s-curl totally punked out, almost to the point of tears. i guess when someone asks you if you have some b*tch-assness" in you, you tend to chill. ROFL! B*TCH-ASSNESS!!!!!!!!!!!! the hilarity! diddy was straight up like " robert, do you have some b*tch-assness in you? cuz i kinda saw some b*tch-assness in you from how you handled your girl" oh help me lawd! what man ever wants to hear that? well, regardless, poor s-curl became the whipping boy and now, he doesn't care about brotherhood, or friendships. i think that when he got his braids cut off, a chunk of his man balls got chopped as well. i weep for you robert, i weep.

other than that, no one else really had much to say in this ep. besides the d. woods/s-curl fight and dawn caressing qwanell's overbite, having dinner with the overbite, snuggling with the overbite, going to church with the overbite and naming the overbite dontavius, and aubrey shaking her ratty, knotted weave, there was no real action. WAIT!! qwanell and dontavius caught the holy ghost!



that and mike has a veeeeeeeeeeery feminine church clap....i must find the clip..........stay tuned! (**UPDATE: THE GOONEY GOO-GOO'S WERE ON THE WENDY WILLIAMS RADIO SHOW TODAY AND SHE ALSO CONFIRMED THAT MIKE HAS SOME VERY FEMININE WAYS ABOUT HISSELF...I FOUND THAT FUNNY...THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE. heck, those hazel *ss contacts really threw him over the edge***)


in the immortal words of willie: "ya'll ain't making surgery!"

Sunday, February 3, 2008