Showing posts with label top chef. Show all posts
Showing posts with label top chef. Show all posts

Monday, October 1, 2007

Top Chef: Like a Rhinestone Cowboy




who at BRAVO TV is trying to kill me? i need to know! i'll return to that in a sec....

so this was part one of the finale and the remaining chefs were dropped off in the middle of the forest. HA HA HA! they had to whip up something for the quickfire on a friggin hot plate...now THAT'S a challenge. i could barely wrangle a hot plate in my college days, let alone in the middle of the lumpy grass with bugs and stuff flying around.
and "king seafood" brian dropped his fish in the grass. anyhoo, the main challenge in this ep was to prepare some yummy elks for a bunch o' cowboys and girls. sidebar:::who exactly IS padma? she is no chef, does nothing food-related, except EAT and i'm just wondering how she got her job. why does she get to taste all of the tasty goodness? i mean, i could be sitting up there if it's like that....just a random chick doing some random stuff. but if i WAS in padma's place...i think i would have been a little cautious about this challenge. the word "elk" just does something to me. it sounds wretched..."come n' get it....a fresh bowl of elk" EW! might as well say "come n' get your fresh bowl of rust." it sounds that unappetizing to me.




regardless, stale dale started to make something and of course, messed it up so he just started making up something as he went along, by boiling cauliflower and potatoes in milk? DOUBLE BARF!
casey dared to be different and cook the elk's ribs or something....you know, she just bores me to tears but she's really been stepping it up lately. brian cooked the shank and threw everything but the kitchen sink in it. and you know bottomless pit-padma was none-too-thrilled to wait 2.7 minutes for brian to plate and describe ALL his ingredients. hung made some i-don't-know and who cares cuz he rarely displeases the judges.




so, in the end, the judges decided to let 3 folks go onto the finale, so that meant only one person was going home. I JUST KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE DALE!!!!!!!!!!!! but lo and behold, mix master brian and his 99 ingredients got the boot....after clutching my pearls in disbelief, the judges decided to deliver the final blow to the dome and declare DALE the challenge winner! help me lawd! this is not me hating........but for real, dale has sucked major man-pris since he's been there and i surely believe that tre would have been suited to make it this far. dale messes up EVERY episode, some kind of way. but alas, we are only left with hung the magic dragon, casey "i'm every woman" and stale stankin' dale and his super man-pris....UGH!




rehab, here i come.......

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Top Chef: What in the Dale is Going On?



ok, so like, someone is reeeeeeeeeally trying to get me to thrust a rusty nail into my throat. why in the cropped pants, rubber shoe, so-2-years-ago mohawk heck is DALE still on this show? we'll return to this question in a bit....


so this ep found the chefs actually in the city (ny) and they got to go to le cirque (gasp!) to do their quickfire challenge...recreating a specialty menu item of fish wrapped in potato served over creamed leeks. hung of course won, but casey was nipping at his heels in 2nd place. that droopy-eyed sara didn't even finish cooking hers, therefore serving a RAW piece of fish to sirio maccioni...how gross! what bugged me tho, was hung and his villainous way of doing everything. i see why the other chefs hate him.

i know this is a competition, but he takes it too far. he cooked his dish first and when he came out, everyone asked if he cooked on top of the stove or in the oven. hung, of course, wouldn't tell. my thing is, just tell 'em. just because you told them the method doesn't mean they are going to produce it as well as you. maybe they won't flavor it well, maybe they'll burn it, maybe it'll end up RAW, like sara. so all that extra, super-duper, top-secret spy ish isn't necessary. hung OBVIOUSLY has better knife skills and speed so he doesn't have to try to humiliate his competitors....just throw them a bone already. we all know he's gonna win anyway. geez!


nonetheless, this week's challenge was to create a great meal using the simplest of ingredients...chicken, potatoes, and a yellow onion. the twist, to cook and serve to the staff of the renowned french culinary institute.

well, casey, hung and brian made successful dishes. but sara, and dale were lagging behind in the threnches (where they usually are anyway). what killed me was brian's "big, green turd" of leek-infused whipped potatoes. it was tastey, but looked like something my kid might've pooped into her diaper...i agree with dale on that one. brian definitley had a flavorful dish tho. hung made some chicken and fried chicken skin with a potato ball that no one really liked. casey made a dish that usually is reserved for making with older roosters, but it still came out yummy. ditzy dale made 2 dishes that were supposed to be tied together by some magical fairy sauce, but dale forgot to put it on the plate so the dishes looked as dry as my coke bowl on a saturday night. sara made some MORE couscous and some jamican chicken without the jamican spices-lolol! needless to say, sara got the boot.
DOH!


personally, i think sara has been depressed since the beginning of the competition. she chain-smokes and has a relentless tired expression her face. i don't think her heart was ever in it, so she should have been sent packing long ago......but more importantly than that..DALE HAS GOT TO GO! he should have been sent home on episode three. and if for no ther reason, he is self taught, which is prolly why most of his food sucks. he is the WORST! nothing ever matches, his flavors are always wack and my cat could present her dried cat viddles better than he presents his slop. i think dale should stick to comedy and start his own designer line of man-capris with matching bandanas.....i'd buy them too!


but you couldn't pay me to eat his food BLEH!!
SASHAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i'm off to rehab.....

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Top Chef: Still In Mourning, Early in the Morning

since tre has been dismissed, my heart just really stills mourns for the show. i can't believe that cj, sara or casey have lasted longer than him....nonetheless, onto the post


the chefs were awkened by annoying padma and their quickfire challenge was to make her a delicious breakfast in 20 minutes.





all of the recipes were successful, but hung (yuck!) won the challenge with his steak & eggs and shake. but because padma is a lush, she really chose his because his shake had grand marnier in it. let me just say how much i detest hung. he's so conniving and magically delicious with his midget butt and i love/hate his overconfidence. bleh!



anyhoo, padmonster told the crew that they were headed to new york and you would have thought they won the lottery. what was up with all that excitement? once the chefs landed in newark (NJ), they were informed that they wouldn't even make it into the city until they passed the next challenge....which was preparing plane food for the crew of continental airlines. well, being a person who has tasted many a barftastic plane meal, i was really excited to see what yummy goodness they could come up with for those teeny, tiny foil containers.



well, cj, sara and brian has the worst dishes. cj had some dead fish with overly-powerful mint oil, sara had some cardboard, flavorless couscous and brian had some chewy lobster. sidebar: does/will brian EVER prepare anything that is not seafood? dang! he's as bad as marcel from season 1 who made a friggin' foam for every dish.



hung, casey and dale had the most successful dishes with hung having some yummy fish, casey had veal medallions and dale had some steak. casey won? um, i'm confused. she never seems to cook with confidence and she just seems aloof. when she wins, she's always so overly-surprised cuz it's like she stumbled onto a successful dish rather than her planning ahead for it.



poor cj got the boot but i don't feel for him, maybe he just not built for this show with his freakish tall-i-ness (what is he, like 6'10"?) and his one testicle. hey, at least everyone got to wear those fun-looking itchy hair-nets.



one time for cj...BOO-HOO-HOO