La Pregante Scringing on Letterman

ya know, i've always resented j.lo for having a successful career in the singing/scringing industry. i mean, that ish pisses me off. nonetheless, she keeps churning out the hits (and misses) with her pregnant bootay.

but lawd, why are people still allowing her to perform? LIVE!?!?!? she needs to be sipping some tea and putting her feet up...and i do not say that just because she's preggers. she needs to do that so that the public's ears can stop being assaulted by her strains and screeches. nonetheless, she took to letterman, wearing yet another shapeless frock. hold onto your hooker boots while you watch........




i love how she asked the crowd to wave their hands and told them "it's alright" as if they needed coaxing and coddling. maybe...they...just...weren't...feeling...it

j.lo, save that voice for your fetuses. maybe they'll appreciate you tearing up their lullabyes...

And the Beat Don't Stop...........

check baby, check baby, one two, three, four
check baby, check baby, one two, three
check baby, check baby, one, two
check baby, check baby, one

all i wanna do is zooma zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom.............


ok, so i'm currently watching VH-1's Hip Hop Honors right now and i am on the floor.....*updates to come*

what the FUG!?!? ok, the show was on POINT...until neyo came out during the new jack swing/teddy riley tribute wearing a glittery jacket singing "remember the time". he sounded nervous and ok, i give him that, cuz that's a classic. but who in the bleached-blonde, crispy voiced, bad soprano heck told keyshia cole to come out and sing it with him? wearing two hefty cinch sacks for pants no less? she could not find the proper key to sing in...EVER! when she first realized she sounded a fright, she stopped singing and said a tired "what's up ya'll?" to the audience, as if to pause like she was just playing. but started howling again and after a while she just gave up and did a tired be-bop dance. i mean, did they have rehearsal? it straight up looked like she was back stage feeling it and was like "aw snap, that's my jam...lemme go out there" and realized that was NOT her jam, at least not her jam to be singing! UGH! my cat sounds better than that when she's getting a bath....

and who in the burnt hair grease heck told corn-chip smelling t-pain to sing ANYTHING?? let alone a classic like "i want her" by guy....oh the tragedy! now i see why he always uses the synthesizers...i really, i mean, REALLY can't sing. can't even hold a note. THEN cripsy tried to dance while scringing (screaming + singing)...hold my mule, lawd, just hold my mule! and he scared me with his overall look...those shades make him look like the boogey-man...BLEH!!

then teddy riley (looking a tad too thin and wispy for my liking) came out singing "no diggity." i mean, he gets a pass cuz his songs were the hotness...but his voice was just a'cracklin' too!! he never was the singer-singer, but geez...he was killing me softly with the crackle. and that daggone chauncy was loving his minutes on stage something serious.

i'm concerned, teddy...

if you have 6 minutes to waste....(bad audio, primarily for visual)



sidebar::::tracey morgan is a FOOL! the skit of him driving the cabs...PRICELESS!!

who in the i-can't-think-of-anyone-else heck chose nick cannon to perform? i mean, stop playin! just stop it right now! during the whodini tribute, this nut came out with his dooky chain and rapped like he was broke and the rent was due tomorrow. i know he really wants to be rapper...remember this?

but stop it, nick. please....just stop

sidebar::::why has the lead rapper from whodini STILL not gotten his bugs bunny teeth fixed? maybe they give him personality...shoot, i admit, that was the first thing i was checking for when he hit the screen...aw, forget it. celebs/pseudo-celebs love them some raggedy teefus "the teeth come out niiiiiiiiiiight"

sidebar::::how cute was nelly doing the "wop"?

sidebar::::altho jermaine dupri started out dancing in rap videos, he couldn't get it poppin' to save his life! millions of dollars and poking janet jackson on the regular will do that to ya! he could barely break dance in his cute little leather sweater. shoot, with that big belly he was sportin, he could barely get up off the floor from TRYING to break-LOLOL!


sidebar::::how stupid fresh was it that harvey keitel introduced snoop dogg?

sidebar::::aw, my boo-boo, phife dawg...that diabetes is a mess. i was worried that you were sniffing the white bandit (before i knew what it was that had you looking like that) feel better, boo boo. p.s. why was dude from zulu nation up there with them? p.p.s. thank you ali shaheed for getting YOUR buckey beaver teefus fixed. i remember when you were rocking the braces. loves it!

um, lupe fiasco ande pharrell, DOUBLE FUG to you for screwing up/switching up the words to "electric relaxation", and busta...all that hollerin'. stop it! if i didn't know the words to "scenario" i would have thought you were having a tourette syndrome scream attack. not one word you said was audible. loved the pink and green paisley coat tho!




have you ever been to a club carrying $76,000 in single dollar bills? did foxy brown ever beat you down with a cell phone? you know what free cheese is? you ever been given a diamond-encrusted challis by bishop majic don juan? you ever get lil' kim pregnant? no, then you're not hip-hop!!

Tim Gunn Strike

ok, so i know i have yet to recap tim gunn's show...so i'll be honest. i haven't said a word about it because of this....









ok, lemme stop! but she does look like this to me!


see, this is jeanne (pronounced JEE-ANN, not JEEN...go figure). she was the 2nd ran over mess of a makeover tragedy to be featured. and her major accomplishment was that she lost, like 150 pounds or something. thats great! i mean, hey, being 300 pounds isn't healthy OR sexy. but what bothered me was that throughout the whole show, neither tim nor veronica really let her have it. you know...tim gunn has a super smart mouth...veronica is like the salt in the wound...he's all-knowing, she's the gorgeous sidekick...he cracks on you...she laughs and then shakes her supermodel tush in your face...you feel inferior to their beauty and fashion sense....they look at your underwear and laugh harder...you feel embarassed....on and on. but it was like, they were so easy on her cuz of her weight issue and i for one, was DISAPPOINTED.





she knows she's fat. she knows she was grotesquely fat not long ago. she knows this is a tv show. so she tried to appeal to their sympathy and it worked. that mess pissed me off. see the girl before her and after her were cute chicks. they just had some off items in their closet. but not only was jeanne a fat, gappy, tatted up mess...HER REAL CLOTHES WERE HORRID!!!!!! some of the worst i've ever seen. yet they never unleashed the dragon on her. she cried when it was time to show her ragged undies so they totally backed off. she ran out of the room and everything! and from that point on, everything she did was perfect.





i hated this ep. and it really made me not want to blog about the show for a while. i say, if you embarass one, embarrass them all....fat or thin, short or tall, married or whatever. don't feel sorry for a chick cuz she's rocking major thunder in her girdle, has duct tape holding her saddlebags up or is one big lump of flab under her spanx. and to top it off, she had approximately three bald spots in her head. who cares?? i mean, you are helping them in the end. so if they cry and roll all over the floor in the process....then the greater the end product.





i'll get over it.


i love you, tim gunn.

Pimp Slappin' H*es w/B. Scott

ok, so i just HAD to post this video of b. scott and his latest adventures....from the zebra bonnet, to the h* song to the ethiopian neighbor.....EGADS! i nearly died....take a peek

ANTM: Cycle 2, Let's Light a Ciggie, Down with Twiggy & Love Tyra's Wiggie

so i am disappointed....the pics from this ep are like mission impossible...but if you watched the show, then try to just recall from memory. also, i just want to say that I HATE TWIGGY! she is so dry and listless. i just want to give her a shot of sambuca and smack her hiney! LOOSEN UP! and tyra's wigs are becoming boring....i think she should have borrowed miss jay's afro wig...let's get kinky!

nonetheless, this ep introduced the green theme of the winnebago and home the mogwais will be maintaining during the season. first things first.....what the fug is going on in bianca's head that made her target lisa as her little whipping post? she was attacking this girl left and right! i really am wondering if this was a case of that "hate on the high yellow girl"...but it was like...where was all this anymosity coming from? the show just started and bianca was calling lisa out every 2 minutes. it was all pretty sad actually...and what was the most unnecessary was bianca calling lisa out for being a bikini dancer saying that ANTM would never be a stripper/dancer/bikini chick. it brought lisa to tears....and i just wanted to hug her, give her a snausage and pat her little wet head. regardless, they kissed and made up....even tho bianca was faking (sniggle, sniggle)

but onto the shoot...this one was to focus on the dangers of smoking...kinda like a psa, and every chick represented a bad effect. TALK ABOUT HILARIOUS!!!!! i mean, technically, smoking is bad (for your health) but i was dying from some of the looks these girls were doing. i have to say MILA was the funniest...she had to be a chemo patient who was suffering from cancer and hair loss, so she had these weird hair patches and a crusty mouth and THAT mess was soooooooooo funny. even she couldn't stop laughing. her head looked like firemarshall bill, except with longer strands of hair.

i can't even remember all the effects (curse those photo hoarders!), but there was everything from premature wrinkling to facial tumors and holes-in-the-throat to dead babies being born....HOT MESS!

ok, so maybe tyra was trying to "stand for something" but that crap was truly funny in its delivery! ROFL!!! regardless, after all was said and done...MILA got her leukemia-fried, patchy dome sent back to smiley-land. i guess tyra doesn't like it when you laugh at her attempts to be serious...........so ms. bunks (yes i said bunks) had to kick it up a super notch by BANNING SMOKING FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON. ok, so i would have followed right behind mila in the packing of my drawls and heading back to the crib cuz that was just a bit much. if i want to fry my brain and torch my lungs, then i think i should be able to in peace. but what will be funniest is if someone starts to have withdrawal and spazzes out on er'body, slicing up their sheets and rubbing their cooch juiced-panties on their beds like monique did in cycle 7. HA!

au revoir and penicillin to you too, MOGWAIS! and don't spark up, mama mogwai's is always watching you!

Top Chef: Like a Rhinestone Cowboy

who at BRAVO TV is trying to kill me? i need to know! i'll return to that in a sec....

so this was part one of the finale and the remaining chefs were dropped off in the middle of the forest. HA HA HA! they had to whip up something for the quickfire on a friggin hot plate...now THAT'S a challenge. i could barely wrangle a hot plate in my college days, let alone in the middle of the lumpy grass with bugs and stuff flying around.

and "king seafood" brian dropped his fish in the grass. anyhoo, the main challenge in this ep was to prepare some yummy elks for a bunch o' cowboys and girls. sidebar:::who exactly IS padma? she is no chef, does nothing food-related, except EAT and i'm just wondering how she got her job. why does she get to taste all of the tasty goodness? i mean, i could be sitting up there if it's like that....just a random chick doing some random stuff. but if i WAS in padma's place...i think i would have been a little cautious about this challenge. the word "elk" just does something to me. it sounds wretched..."come n' get it....a fresh bowl of elk" EW! might as well say "come n' get your fresh bowl of rust." it sounds that unappetizing to me.

regardless, stale dale started to make something and of course, messed it up so he just started making up something as he went along, by boiling cauliflower and potatoes in milk? DOUBLE BARF!

casey dared to be different and cook the elk's ribs or something....you know, she just bores me to tears but she's really been stepping it up lately. brian cooked the shank and threw everything but the kitchen sink in it. and you know bottomless pit-padma was none-too-thrilled to wait 2.7 minutes for brian to plate and describe ALL his ingredients. hung made some i-don't-know and who cares cuz he rarely displeases the judges.

so, in the end, the judges decided to let 3 folks go onto the finale, so that meant only one person was going home. I JUST KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE DALE!!!!!!!!!!!! but lo and behold, mix master brian and his 99 ingredients got the boot....after clutching my pearls in disbelief, the judges decided to deliver the final blow to the dome and declare DALE the challenge winner! help me lawd! this is not me hating........but for real, dale has sucked major man-pris since he's been there and i surely believe that tre would have been suited to make it this far. dale messes up EVERY episode, some kind of way. but alas, we are only left with hung the magic dragon, casey "i'm every woman" and stale stankin' dale and his super man-pris....UGH!

rehab, here i come.......

Smoking Schedule

ok, so i'm instituting a schedule for my posting so er'body can KNOW FOR SURE when i've entered the building............

WEDNESDAY SHOWS (including ANTM and top chef) will be posted on MONDAYS

MONDAY SHOWS (including The Hills) will be posted on THURSDAYS

THURSDAY SHOWS (including Tim Gunn) will be posted on TUESDAYS and,

randoms will be posted, er, randomly

thank you for your patronage! now...ratty wigs and big fuzzy squirrel coat hugs for all!!!!!!!!!!

Top Chef: What in the Dale is Going On?

ok, so like, someone is reeeeeeeeeally trying to get me to thrust a rusty nail into my throat. why in the cropped pants, rubber shoe, so-2-years-ago mohawk heck is DALE still on this show? we'll return to this question in a bit....

so this ep found the chefs actually in the city (ny) and they got to go to le cirque (gasp!) to do their quickfire challenge...recreating a specialty menu item of fish wrapped in potato served over creamed leeks. hung of course won, but casey was nipping at his heels in 2nd place. that droopy-eyed sara didn't even finish cooking hers, therefore serving a RAW piece of fish to sirio maccioni...how gross! what bugged me tho, was hung and his villainous way of doing everything. i see why the other chefs hate him.

i know this is a competition, but he takes it too far. he cooked his dish first and when he came out, everyone asked if he cooked on top of the stove or in the oven. hung, of course, wouldn't tell. my thing is, just tell 'em. just because you told them the method doesn't mean they are going to produce it as well as you. maybe they won't flavor it well, maybe they'll burn it, maybe it'll end up RAW, like sara. so all that extra, super-duper, top-secret spy ish isn't necessary. hung OBVIOUSLY has better knife skills and speed so he doesn't have to try to humiliate his competitors....just throw them a bone already. we all know he's gonna win anyway. geez!

nonetheless, this week's challenge was to create a great meal using the simplest of ingredients...chicken, potatoes, and a yellow onion. the twist, to cook and serve to the staff of the renowned french culinary institute.

well, casey, hung and brian made successful dishes. but sara, and dale were lagging behind in the threnches (where they usually are anyway). what killed me was brian's "big, green turd" of leek-infused whipped potatoes. it was tastey, but looked like something my kid might've pooped into her diaper...i agree with dale on that one. brian definitley had a flavorful dish tho. hung made some chicken and fried chicken skin with a potato ball that no one really liked. casey made a dish that usually is reserved for making with older roosters, but it still came out yummy. ditzy dale made 2 dishes that were supposed to be tied together by some magical fairy sauce, but dale forgot to put it on the plate so the dishes looked as dry as my coke bowl on a saturday night. sara made some MORE couscous and some jamican chicken without the jamican spices-lolol! needless to say, sara got the boot.

DOH!

personally, i think sara has been depressed since the beginning of the competition. she chain-smokes and has a relentless tired expression her face. i don't think her heart was ever in it, so she should have been sent packing long ago......but more importantly than that..DALE HAS GOT TO GO! he should have been sent home on episode three. and if for no ther reason, he is self taught, which is prolly why most of his food sucks. he is the WORST! nothing ever matches, his flavors are always wack and my cat could present her dried cat viddles better than he presents his slop. i think dale should stick to comedy and start his own designer line of man-capris with matching bandanas.....i'd buy them too!

but you couldn't pay me to eat his food BLEH!!

SASHAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm off to rehab.....

Adrienne Curry: A Hot White, Jew Marry-er

WHOA! i absolutely LOVE when people talk out of their *sses...take a gander

“MY Boycott against BET and Black History Month
Because of my last blog, and all the wonderful feedback I got..it made me think…
This is gonna be hard guys. I LOVE the comedians on BET. I also LOVE the fact that they play my favorite show of all time, In Living Color. However, I do not believe in seperating ANY RACE in America. WE ARE AMERICANS! How dare we have Black History Month! In my eyes, the Native Americans deserve it MUCH more, seeing how we destroyed their ENTIRE SOCIETY. There are hardly any of them left! They also have been proven to have the WORST living conditions on their reservations. I want AN AMERICAN HISTORY MONTH. One where we learn about EVERY race, ALL OF OUR LEADERS, EVERYONE! I think by having a month dedicated to one race, and not one for any other, is RACIST. Every fund set up to only help people of one race is SICK and RACIST.

Yes, I get it. Black people were slaves here once. You know what? That does suck some major balls, however, it is time to move the fuck on. Do we hear the Jews crying that they were made slaves for thousands of years? Do we hear them whine that they should OWN the pyramids in Egypt because THEY broke their backs making them? Do we hear them bitch and moan about Hitler, etc? (my hubby is a Jew)Nope, we dont. It’s time for us to UNITE AS ONE. I do not think that singling out one race, giving one race opportunities to go to college (I know a TON of poor white.asian, indian, american indian, etc etc that could use that too!), giving one race the EXCUSE to blame things on others for being whatever nationality they are, is a good way at making sure we NEVER kill racism.

I am over this shit. WE ALL CAME FROM ONE BLACK WOMAN FROM AFRICA, THAT is our EVE! It has been proven by science, and I stand by it. If any other race had a chanel dedicated to just them, we would think it was racist. If any other race demanded a month be set aside for ONLY them, they would be considered racist. I am NOT living by this double standard any longer.
Think I am racist? I am not. I know what racism is. I dated a guy named “Justin” in Junior high. Nothing serious, but I really liked him. He was the blackest of black…BEAUTIFUL skin, kinda like Alex Wek’s. He was handsome, and athletic, etc. I was called a nigger lover. But you know what? I was called that by a whole 2 people out of a school with HUNDREDS of students. THAT is why I am NOT buying this racist shit anymore. Let us teach or children that there is NO DIFFERENCE! We are all human. I hope one day aliens land and try to kill us. Maybe THEN we would finally realize that WE are ONE.

So, I will no longer tune into BET. This is going to suck, but I do NOT like the idea of having a chanel for only 1 race. In the year 2007 in a country that is supposed to be the most advanced and equal. This is unexceptable! I will also no longer acknowledge Black History Month. Instead, I will see it the way that Morgan Freeman does (I have the quote at the bottom of my last blog on Obama/jesseJackson, and OJ). AMERICAN HISTORY MONTH! I will read/watch/and learn about ALL the people who made a difference in this country.

I am asking you ALL to join me. Black, White, Indian, Asian, Russian, Australian, etc etc…..lets be AMERICANS together! What happened to the African American community was AMERICAN HISTORY, not BLACK HISTORY. If you want to celebrate in a way that excludes others and singles one race out, count me the FUCK out! I am soooo proud to be an American. I am SO proud that I have friends of every race, and none of us see each other as anything but what we are..people. Lets change Black History Month to 2 months of AMERICAN HISTORY. We will still learn about all the black leaders and people who made a difference….just not with the racist name of “Black History Month”. It has to start somewhere. I am going to do my part in making sure we are all treated EQUAL in a country that CLAIMS we are. NO MORE SPECIAL TREATMENT FOR ANYONE WITH ANYTHING!

It will never happen. At least, that is what many of you will say…FINE! My number one priority here is being able to die and know that I stood up for what I believed in, and that I did not add to the SEPERATION OF AMERICANS!! I love my country, I love the people in it. I love our history, good and bad. We should LEARN from it,not dwell in it and not move forward. That’s why I am done with this shit. You are all my brothers and sisters…..even if I think you suck ; ) As Bono said, “One life, with each other..sisters…brothers!”

now, have fun burning me at the stake ; )”

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE...DISCUSS!

that's right, adrienne...keep enriching us racist americans with visions of your flat *ss. it makes everything you say THAT much more credible and sensible....

**ANTM - NEW SEASON** RETURN OF THE MOGWAIS (& crackheads)

"um, she's like...a crackhead" BOO-HOO-HOO
-ebony, evil knieval

oh sweet saviour...just take me right now! these girls are so chock full o' drama, i don't know who to fake-cry for first! but let me say this, ebony's mama is a woman after my own heart...SMOKE IT UP, GIRL!!!



ok, boring stuff first...33 chicks met up on a cruise ship and had some walking and photo challenges. 33 dwindled to 20 then 20 fizzled to 13. there are THIRTEEN new mogwais to keep our eyeballs glued to the tube and my opinion of them are as follows:

AMBREAL- um, what is an ambreal? just wondering...i feel like that's an object perhaps used for communing with great mother earth or maybe the ghosts of christmas future. "hey, bring me the ambreal incense and wind chimes!" or " do you have a spare ambreal pot? i'm making homemade candles tonight." ANYHOO, she's ok i guess. i'm not overly excited about her. maybe she'll woo me once she starts taking pictures....we'll see!


BIANCA- gotta love her for showing up with a $25 weave with purple bangs. i have a question....who picks out these hideous outfits that the girls are wearing in these pics? already, bianca is looking like a sickly scarecrow in that granmama moo-moo top and skinny jeans that are too skinny for her skinnies. i feel like she might be able to bring some sass later on.....


CHANTAL - her body is ridiculous and she seems like she might be a top contender. altho i think her face photographs kinda old, she has an effortless air about her. hate the 70's disco top and bright white shoes-BOOO!


HEATHER - when i first saw her and her self-professed "computer-hump" i nearly fell off the couch in laughter! she is awkward and lanky and has a HUGE mole on her chin that waved at me....but her photos were so...nice! but you know there had to be a missing piece to her sob story...she suffers from a form of autism called asperger's syndrome which makes her socially awkward and withdrawn.....hmmmmmmmmmmmm. i thought this was america's next top model....not hermit

JANET - i like her...well, i DID like her until she wanted to faux-wax tyra banks' tuna roll from the back. i mean, ok...you're an aesthetician, but did we need a demo wax session complete with spreading of tyra's booty cheeks and sticking your hands in her crack and fake-ripping the wax? that disturbed me...yet intrigued me at the same time. maybe her pixie powers have captivated me...


KIMBERLY - to be honest, i don't remember anything about her. so all i can say is...i hate that nearly cooch-bearing skirt she has on! again, who is styling this shoot? *BARF*


LISA - me LOVE HER long time! ok, too much...but i really like her and i'm casting my vote for her to be the winner right now. she, along with almost everyone else had super drama, came from the foster system, but she didn't seem as pitiful as some of the others. she seems very humble and her skin is gorgeous! (don't let me down, girl!)



MILA - is this season's lisa/jade/melrose but with sugar on top. she's way confident, but not rudely so. but her fake happiness almost made me stab myself in the jugular. nothing special about her to me...


SALEISHA - ok, so she went to tyra's infamous t-zone girls camp at the age of 14 to help build self-esteem and now she thinks she's "the bomb." but tyra's gonna be "harder on her" than everyone else. um, if the camp was supposed to help with self-esteem and confidence so why is tyra gonna go harder on her than anyone else? wouldn't that be the kinda destructive of the confidence she worked so tirelessly to establish? wouldn't that make her want to sob in the confessional more and eat lots of bread like keenyah did and put on 15 pounds while on the show and have to get photoshopped more than everyone and then she'll just succumb to the pressures and do a britney spears and shave all of her hair off and beat the other girls with an umbrella and..............ok, too much



SARAH-don't remember her...thinks she's the plus-size chick...who cares?

VICTORIA- me no likey her oblong-y-ish face. tyra loves it tho so i guess that's all that matters. she looks like she's scared to talk...she'll prolly be the house wuss and maybe she'll have a meltdown and go off on all those skanks later. her look bores me tho, especially that JCpenney top and k-mart jeans. p.s., my granny wants her aerosole sandals back

lastly, we can't leave out ebony. she's so full of herself and she had the most touching story of all. her mama is a crackhead!! AND on top of that, her first boyfriend did her dirty too, and she actually "had feelings for him." GASP! she got on everyone's nerve being overly rude and tasteless with her comments. plus she thinks her walk is perfect. well, i for one think her walk is atrocious...especially with that imaginary stick up her booty. why are her legs always so agape? dang, i forgot about the stick that quickly! anyhoo, she's a hot mess with a barely-there top lip and frizzy hair...but i can't wait to see if she'll deliver when put to the test.

i must say that it is starting to seem like the applicants are piling on the drama and sadness in hopes to jerk tyra's heart strings and let them into the house. i'm sooooooooooooo tired of the down-and-out stories. this one's adopted, that one's homeless, this one's mama is a crackhead, that's one's beeen beaten, that one's a stripper scratching and surviving to get by....i mean, COME ON!!! i don't even know if i believe half of that stuff. and if it's all true, then suck it up!! this show is the chance for you to better yourself, get out of "the life" and become FABULOUS. stop invoking my precious tears for you and your downtrodden, wayward, misguided self. get to walking, stomping, and strutting down that catwalk and put your best face forward. all that extra mess DOES make for interesting tv tho

off-the-wall questions: who was that child who made it to the top 20 named SPONTONAISE? aw lawd! why do people do this? and how do you pronounce it...spon-to-nay-eeese, spon-to-nayz, spon-to-nah-ee-say???? if she had made it to the house, i would have just called her sponny-spon-spon or the spon-meister or maybe spondilocks.

and marvita...why? all that trash talking and rough over-confidence got you nothing but the boot. she was another one who poured on the sadness with her personal story. and when she was rejected, she tried to act like she didn't care or understand why other rejects were crying. girl, please! you know you went and cried into your adidas after the tapes stopped rolling.

all in all, these girls are a hot mess and i can't wait for makeovers! WHO ARE YOU ROOTING FOR?

Top Chef: Still In Mourning, Early in the Morning

since tre has been dismissed, my heart just really stills mourns for the show. i can't believe that cj, sara or casey have lasted longer than him....nonetheless, onto the post


the chefs were awkened by annoying padma and their quickfire challenge was to make her a delicious breakfast in 20 minutes.





all of the recipes were successful, but hung (yuck!) won the challenge with his steak & eggs and shake. but because padma is a lush, she really chose his because his shake had grand marnier in it. let me just say how much i detest hung. he's so conniving and magically delicious with his midget butt and i love/hate his overconfidence. bleh!



anyhoo, padmonster told the crew that they were headed to new york and you would have thought they won the lottery. what was up with all that excitement? once the chefs landed in newark (NJ), they were informed that they wouldn't even make it into the city until they passed the next challenge....which was preparing plane food for the crew of continental airlines. well, being a person who has tasted many a barftastic plane meal, i was really excited to see what yummy goodness they could come up with for those teeny, tiny foil containers.



well, cj, sara and brian has the worst dishes. cj had some dead fish with overly-powerful mint oil, sara had some cardboard, flavorless couscous and brian had some chewy lobster. sidebar: does/will brian EVER prepare anything that is not seafood? dang! he's as bad as marcel from season 1 who made a friggin' foam for every dish.



hung, casey and dale had the most successful dishes with hung having some yummy fish, casey had veal medallions and dale had some steak. casey won? um, i'm confused. she never seems to cook with confidence and she just seems aloof. when she wins, she's always so overly-surprised cuz it's like she stumbled onto a successful dish rather than her planning ahead for it.



poor cj got the boot but i don't feel for him, maybe he just not built for this show with his freakish tall-i-ness (what is he, like 6'10"?) and his one testicle. hey, at least everyone got to wear those fun-looking itchy hair-nets.



one time for cj...BOO-HOO-HOO

MTV: VMA's: Was Everyone There On Crack?

NEARER MY GOD TO THEE!!!

the drama that went on up and thru there was of crackish proportions...i mean, between britney spears' half-dead performance and the kid rock/tommy lee smackfest, along with kanye's outburst and jamie foxx's erratic intro...i was just in awe!

and i thought I HAD dropped the ball when i peformed like this....



but girlfriend has me beat...oh yes, i'm talking about that "britney comeback," and if you saw even a smidgen of it, then you know that homeslice needs to throw in the towel. i mean, what WASN'T wrong with that mess of a performance? and what happened to the whole disappearance act she was supposedly planning to do with the mindfreak himself, criss angel? and WHY OH WHY, did she have on those shiny drawls and bra knowing she still has a beer gut? UGH!! all of the promo and build-up they did for her and she could barely lip-synch to that song. not to mention, her weave was about 3.7 shades bleachier than her roots...it looked like my cat got ahold to that head. me thinks she should go hole up with la lohan in her crack hideout. brit buried her shred of a career comeback with that mess....boo-hoo-hoo, gimme NO more!


now, i could barely control my laughter when it was announced that kid rock straight pimp-slapped tommy lee. was it about the tongue swallowing pammie did with tommy? regardless, what i want to know is...what man slaps another man? backhand at that!! HA HA HA HA!!!!!! but then again, kid rock looks like he's overseen a few lady-of-the-evening transactions if you ask me,









so kanye is never gonna do mtv again? well, can i blame him? no, not really. i mean, yes, he's outspoken, annoying, and on his own sack, but i kinda feel where he's coming from....britney has been nowhere, producing a whole bunch of nothing (except for drama) and then in a matter of days she can take top spot to showcase her (used to be) skills. kanye's song truly is #1 in the country, so i DO feel like he would have been better as an opening, especially if he had pulled a "Screamfest" and had lots of surprise guests. then nelly furtado, justin and timbaland closed. ok, WTF!?!?! it seemed like the song went off before they were ready for it to. and that song is old now (even tho i still like it). neither opening nor closing acts were BANGIN' so i can ride with kanye on this one.



jamie foxx was clearly on that oooh-wee when he came out on stage just talking to audience members and dropping those shameless plugs over and over. he never even tried to read from the prompter. i know he was still amped from the fight, but geez, he was straight childish looking with all that face making and loud talking...BOOOOOOOO!!!!

this was no doubt THE WORST VMA's EVER!!! and whoever thought to have separate performance suites should be slapped by kid rock as well....

p.s. what in the fever blister, cootie-ridden, crusty, crackled, diseased heck is going on in this pic?

...i'm off to rehab!