The Hills Are Alive...With More Break-ups

"you're rolling around with my enemy, which makes you my enemy" - spencer "2-year-old" pratt

you really have to love the sheer idiocy that these kids display. it cracks (LOL) me up that because of one relationship, all types of reactionary break-ups, friend wars and hate -fests ensue...the minute spencer and heidi made it official, heidi and lc fizzled, spencer and lc exploded, jenn and lc crackled, spencer and audrina clashed, and now BRODY AND SPENCER DISINTEGRATED.....let's reenact the final convo...break out the kleenex!

brody: um, honey boo, i've been calling! where've you been?

spencer: no no sugar, who've you been hanging out with? oh yessssss, honey, i heard it thru the grapevine!

brody: listen boo, you still my # 1, lauren's just my homie...don't get salty

spencer: well, honey chile, i do NOT share the stage with anyone, especially her.

brody: why? you're just as hot as she is, c'mon...i love you!

spencer: well, i loved you and now i'm betrayed. you're rolling around with my enemy and that makes you my enemy! boo-hoo-hoo..(sobbing)

brody: ok, like, for real, bros before hos and you know you're my fave! c'mon...whose blonde hair catches and reflects the sun rays like yours? whose baby blue eyes radiate like fresh south american waterfalls? whose scruffy facial hair scratches those hard-to-reach places on my back like yours? no one can replace you!

spencer: UH-UH FISH! you should have thought about that before you started hanging out with miss thang! i have no more words for you (CLICK)

brody: what a b*^$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOO-HOO-HOO

i mean, i can't stand when "adults" feel the need to spread their toxins just because they have an issue with someone. but it sure does make for interesting tv...anyhoo, so heidi took to scraping the bottom of the barrel for a friend and came up with jen. they went to breakfast and heidi could barely keep it together-LOL!

i thought she was gonna cry right into her hash browns! all jen did was ask about the lauren drama and heidi went on a rampage about brody starting the rumors (that lauren blamed heidi for), how she didn't care about their lost friendship and how spencer had to tell brody to kick rocks because of lauren. what was so funny was how she really struggled to be believably nonchalant. she poked, stabbed and rearranged her food about 3 zillion times, her eyes looked like they weighed 20 pounds and her non-existent lips were continuously pursed into a frown...kinda like

eh? uh? oh?

poor baby! denial is a disease!

on the HILARIOUS homefront, audrina and i broke out the high end merchandise this weekend and...WHEW! i think i killed about 359,071 brain cells. but audrina definitely had me beat, and i regret to inform you that our latest adventures have seriously affected the entire left side of her brain...you know, the one that tells you to RUN! when you see wart hogs like justin bobby...especially after he leaves you stranded at a party to go hook up with another chick. audrina is one of those chicks you just want to hit upside her head with a brick. she just NEVER gets it! so you sit back and watch her stumble over herself a million times. at first you feel for her, then she becomes your source of entertainment. wart and audrina went to dinner at some hole in the wall where wart practically called her friends mindless little nosy-bodies. and do you think she spoke up for them? HA! between our crack-fests and justin's natural body aura/aroma/man-smell, she's too fried :-(

ya'll pray for me...i'm off to rehab!