KIMORA: My Life Whore Idol

"you can be a bit too thin but you can never be too rich."-kimora lee simmons

let me just start by saying i HEART kimora lee simmons for being such a life whore. she makes no apologies for being loud, ostentacious and overly gluttenous. me likey!

this week she traveled to cannes with the pups and kiddies to spread her baby phatness overseas. i'm not gonna get hung up in the details of marketing and all that company mumbo-jumbo...

what i want to focus on is the uber-FABNESS that is james. he's my own little plump fashion fairy and he had a brief moment when he was trying to cast models for baby phat. after everyone agreed that the models pretty much sucked, james took matters into his own hands and tried to show the models how to walk. NEARER MY GOD TO THEE!! not only did he swing that excessively large baby belly like the hottest fall bag, he sashayed around that room on his tippy toes, as if he had on some imaginary D&G stilettos! in actuality, all we saw was his flat, dirty soles all balanced on ten little piggies which, might i add, held up quite well under the pressure of all his junk! it was like he was floating on a cloud and yes, i was mystified.

poor (new assistant) mallory...she just got thrown to the wolves with errands and grunt-work, but i love how no one bats an eye when giving her 100 orders at a time. i just want to hug her cuz she was fluttering around in a ball gown with no shoes on tying up loose ends, ironing dresses, finding tape, building an entertainment center and inventing the wheel all at one time. er, that's so not for me. i wouldn't have lasted a day in her position but we'll see how long she lasts...

later, kimora had a series of press to do and honey worked it like a drag queen in the club on thursday night (wink, shawn!). she was so extra, and i loved it! the only thing i really remember her saying was "anything a man can do, a woman can do better, except for something stupid." and i will definitley say i agree-LOL! shooooooooot...i've smoked my boo, bobby brown under the table on many occasions and why you ask...not because i have a better inhalation game...nope, my lungs aren't bigger and honestly, i never smoked until we hooked up...but i've out-smoked him time and time again and simply put, because i'm a woman! two snaps for me!!

also, i just want to add that when i grow up, i want to be like aoki lee simmons. she is the most smart-mouthed little spitfire i've seen in a loooooooooooong time. from embarrassing hassan the chef to ordering the help around, she's the newest in must-have cute, but outrageous, borderline inappropriate mini moguls. order yours today!